Recently, a man asked me the following question:
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"Calle, can you tell me what's going on? My wife and I have been married for 15 years and after the first year, the sex started becoming less and less frequent. My wife simply wasn't in the mood for it…she didn't feel like having sex…she had a "headache"…she was "tired" or whatever.
Now, if we make love once a month it's a miracle and even then, she's clearly and obviously just "giving it" to me so I'll shut up and go away. It doesn't seem to matter what I say or do, my wife just doesn't seem to have any interest in sex. And, that's how it's been for years. That's not how it was before we married and during the first year, but after that, it's like her desire for sex just completely disappeared.
And now…the latest thing I have discovered is that my wife seems to be having an affair. Of course, she is denying it but I'm seeing too many indications…too many red flags…and the last time we made love it was definitely like she had been in bed with another guy and since then, she has been even more distant and has shunned my approaches even more strongly than she has in the past.
So, my question is, how can a woman who has had no desire for sex all these years…who has avoided intimacy with me go have an affair with another man? That just doesn't make any sense to me…I don't get that!"
That's a good question don't you think? How can a woman who seemingly doesn't like or want sex go engage in sex with another man? Well, let's explore what's really going on by asking another question…
What kind of man does your wife want?
The answer to that question is my famous line, "A woman wants a man that she can have a positive and sexual reaction to." A woman wants a man who understands and meets her needs. And, she wants a man who thinks, behaves, and operates in a way that is appealing, attractive, and sexy.
And, when the man who asked the question above didn't provide those things to his wife, she began to move away from him…she began to stop wanting sex with HIM.
BIG, BIG, distinction here…she didn't stop wanting sex…she stopped wanting sex with HIM. She stopped wanting sex with a man who wasn't turning her on sexually.
Now, the issue was not that this man was incapable of turning his wife on sexually. The issue was that he had not yet learned how to do that.
As a comparison, imagine that right after this man married his wife she started growing uglier and uglier until she eventually became this horribly grotesque woman. If this had happened, the man would have stopped wanting sex with his wife, right? Well, for a man, it primarily has to do with physical looks. For a wife, it primarily has to do with the feelings that the man she's with creates inside of her…and this man just needed to learn how to create the right feelings inside of her.
Your wife wanted sex in the past. She wants sex NOW. She wants sex in the future. So, if your wife doesn't want sex with you, then she wants it with someone else. If your wife does not want sex with you, I suggest you use that as motivation to become the kind of man that your wife wants before she goes and finds someone else.
Now, I want to raise a related point…
I was helping a different man recently who also found himself in an almost identical situation…he and his wife had been married for 18 years, wife had resisted and rejected sex for years…and then he discovered that his wife was having an affair, etc. Anyway, as I began talking with this man, one of the things he kept saying over and over was…
"Overall, I have been a very good husband and father!"
I'm sure you've heard other men say this about themselves, right? And in fact, you may have even said or thought this about yourself too.
But, let's ask ourselves, what does that really mean to say you are a good husband and father? Well, when you boil it all down, for most men it means three things:
1. They are a decent provider.
2. They aren't an alcoholic or drug-addict.
3. They aren't physically abusive.
Now, here's what men must wake up and realize…none of those three things mean a man has satisfied, excited, or generated a positive and sexual reaction in his wife towards him. None of these three things mean a wife really respects or admires or is attracted to her husband.
In fact, all too often "I've been a good husband" really just means a man has been a soft, passive, be nice, put up with a lot of nonsense and misbehavior kind of guy…and that's NOT the kind of man a woman will have a positive and sexual reaction to. So, let me say it again…
A woman wants a man who understands and meets her needs. And, she wants a man who thinks, behaves, and operates in a way that is appealing, attractive, and sexy. For the sake of your marriage and any children you may have, I strongly encourage you to become this kind of man.
Copyright 2009, Article by Calle Zorro. Permission is granted to reprint this article ONLY if authorship credit is given to Calle Zorro and a link to DoThisGetSex.com is included with it.
Having a testimonial can increase the chances of getting the job. As there is strong competition among applicants, almost every job candidate requires testimonials for the job. Having the relevant experience under your belt you are required to show that you have proved your abilities in some organization. You can ask your previous employee to provide the testimonial of your services. If you are a student then a Principal/Dean can provide you the testimonial. Here are the both example testimonials that can help you stand out of the crowd.
A sample testimonial letter. (As an Employee)
An Experience Certificate
To whom it may concern
This is to certify that (NAME) has been in our service as an (JOB TITLE) from START DATE (YEAR) to END DATE (YEAR). During this period of service he/she worked diligently and honestly. His/her amiability of temperament, sincerity of purpose and honest absorption in the assigned job were some of the commendable traits of his personality that endeared him amongst us.
Through his/her work and conduct he satisfied us. He/she has a sound moral character. He/she has left our firm not due to any compulsion on our part, but on account of his own free will.
Employer
(Stamp & Signature)
Second Sample Testimonial Letter. (As a Student)
A Testimonial From An Educational Institution
This is to certify that (NAME) s/o (NAME) was a renowned player and student of our institution from START DATE (YEAR) to END DATE (YEAR) then he graduated from our college winning one of the top positions in Commerce. He/She got first class in B. Com.
About his contribution towards sports, we hereby state that he won many a commendatory certificate in various sports events. He excelled in Badminton and Hockey. He is quite hard-working and intelligent youth. We may emphatically say that he will prove out to be an asset to any enterprise where a position of trust and responsibility is offered to him.
I wish him all success in his life.
Principal
(College Stamp & Signature)
A Testimonial From the Major Contractor to Sub-Contractor Employee
Name
Designation
Company Name
Address:
Dear (Name),
Earlier this year we had the pleasure of working with you and your company on a project of (Name of Project) for our company. I am writing this letter to you to express my great satisfaction with the quality of the work completed and quality of the people from your company involved this project. You were extremely helpful from our first telephonic conversation through 3D Visualisering completion. Everything worked immediately and I am pleased with how things turned out. Please convey our appreciation to all of your team members. Feel free to use us as reference.
We wish you the best,
Sincerely,
(Name)
(Signature)